Do Not Pet

For those of you on my flist who don't know, Mercy is my BJD. If you have no idea what I'm talking about/friended me for my fanfiction, just totally ignore this XD

( For whoever else... )

Good gods. People, when we say just bring the dog, JUST BRING THE DOG. If your dog has special medical needs or allergies, we will be happy to accomadate them with pills or special food. If your big dog steals your smaller dog's food, we'd appreciate a crate that we can close them in during breakfast time. A bed or blanket is unnecessary, but fine.

But holy effing shit. Today these people came in five minutes before closing with their three dogs. Not a huge deal. It was their first time, so they wanted to see the pen their dogs would be in. Understandable. However, they brought:
Roughly 6 blankets
3 dog beds
Literally, a laundry basket FULL of toys
Several containers of food
A bag of assorted dog treats

Half the toys were even new. I mean, there was a new kong for each dog. And a bunch of new chewy bones.

For serious. These people were unreal.

I. Do. Not. Like. Loreena. McKennitt.

Everyone and everything seems to think I should. Honestly, every music-finding tool, every person I ask for new bands has to throw Loreena McKennitt out there.

NO.

(I mean, I've got nothing against her, but DAMN. Seriously tired of hearing about her.)

Yep, started the first painting for my art portfolio today. Roughly a year until I have to start applying for universities, hoo boy. I've found out I paint roughly 1000X better on stretched canvas than on canvas board. I also paint better if I do the rough sketch in pencil crayon. Weeeeird.

... Also, OpenOffice is funny. When I'm writing fanfiction, it always tries to replace Starwind's name with 'Startlement'.

So, I'm taking vocals in this new semester - more because I enjoy singing than that I'm actually good at it. Anyways, we're leaning Bohemian Rhapsody, which is very cool of course; and is actually sounding pretty decent. In brings unbidden images from Good Omens to my mind, but oh well.

Anyways, our teacher was trying to get the Altos (yay me) on the right note, so had us repeat the same few words over and over again. All well and good, if annoying, except the line was 'Because I'm easy come, easy go,' and all we were saying was 'Because I'm easy,'.

You try saying that over and over again in monotone, see how many times YOU can do it without laughing.

*... was in hysterics after about five*

My new goal is to post every day, even if it's just a short insight. I always have these random little thoughts that I think I should share, but never get around to it.

Anyways, my current writing woes are way too many to list, but the one that's bothering me right now is the good old 'Where the hell was I going with this?'

You know, when you half-finish something, a scene or a little snippet, open it up later... and realize you now have no idea what you intended to do. The scene has no purpose. I mean, you must've thought it would, or you wouldn't have started it, but now that purpose completely escapes you.

The sad thing is most of the time I don't even have to close the document and wait a while for this to happen. I'll just start a new scene, write a few paragraphs and then stare at my moniter, thinking 'Where the hell was I going with this?'.

Sometimes I do it in the middle of sentences.

So, I just finished Brisingr. Got it on the first day it came out, and read all 750 pages in a day and a half.

( I suggest you only click this if you've also read it )

Right, so I'm just sticking my Last Herald Mage smut scene for my big fanfic up here, because lhmfanship doesn't allowed R-rated-ness. But I can link it!

( Smut! )

But anyways, I'm posting now!

I present you with the fandom update (lately, fandom is all I've been interested in).

Eragon - I've got a few fics in the works, mostly crack, one of which is almost finished. Ori, my Eragon muse (no, you really don't want to know the story behind that) has been a bit pissed at me because of all my work with LHM fanfic lately, so I've not really been inspired to write Eragon/Oromis.

Last Herald Mage - Finished my rather epic fanfic, 'Of Feathers and Folly'. It's being posted up on the lhmfanship community, I'll probably stick it up here as well, when I'm feeling less lazy. Twelve chapters and an epilogue, you'd better believe it. Holy hell. I've got quite a few more fics planned for this fandom, as well, and I'm going to make a 'Taleydras Cheat Sheet of Ultimate Win' which will be a gigantic piece of paper covered in quotes and little informational tidbits from the books. They'll help me remember things, be more canonically accurate, and not have to go fishing around in the books all the time. I'm nearly done writing the smut scene that I snipped out of the normal version, because lhmfanship doesn't allow R-rated. The R version will be posted here, of course.

Good Omens - I'm thinking about writing something, but no really good ideas yet. Still working on reading just about every Crowley/Aziraphale fic ever written. I swear it's addictive. Started rereading the book yesterday, I'm almost finished now.

Lord of the Rings - I'm staying away from it for now because of a fic I read that affected me very deeply. It'll be a while before I can even think about Erestor again without freaking right out.

Petshop of Horrors - Need to finish reading the manga. I'm on book five, it takes so damn long to read online scanlations... when I'm done, I'll write some fic, I think.

Earthian - Need to get to the point where I can make it through the whole damn four episodes with only minimal mocking of Chihaya (which I suspect is actually impossible) before I can do anything with this.

Sweeney Todd - Need to convince myself that I can write het. Need to bully myself into finally watching the DVD of the stage version with Angela Lansbury, I haven't yet because I have the sneaking suspicion that Anthony Hope has been tragically miscast yet again, and I'm pretty sure my heart couldn't take that.

I'm going to try and post at LEAST every other day, now. I'm ridiculously lazy about it.

My big moment of amusement of the day:

I turned on the TV, and it was on one of the cartoon channels. I'm just about to change it, when the oven beeps. I throw the remote aside and go to take my dinner out. As I'm walking across the kitchen, and a male character on the show says, as I figured out a few minutes later, "Realm, schmealm. This is about Seth!"

However, I heard, "Realm, schmealm. This is about sex!"

It was several minutes before I could stop laughing.

Title: Heat of the… Spring?!
Author: Laela
Fandom: Eragon, Eldest
Pairing: Oromis/Eragon
Rating: Like… 14A?
Prompt: 30_nights, 21. Seeking for you
Warnings: Some AU-ness, implied sexual situations, Oromis using the word ‘phallic’
Summary: Saphira’s in heat… and so is Eragon.
Author’s Note: Request written for Deathnote. The request was for Eragon on bottom, so I… got creative.

( In which there is... weirdness? )

I wrote fic! Smutty fic.

Title: Voyerism
Author: Laela
Fandom: Eragon, Eldest
Pairing: Eragon/Oromis
Rating: R
Warnings: Slash, masturbation, voyerism, nekkid Oromis (:D)
Summary: Eragon follows Oromis into the night.
Author's note: It's... as smutty as I've gotten with these two so far *I am laaaaame*.

( Eragon is a naughty, naughty boy! )

I'm in the world's most useless class, Civics. We're not even doing anything :D Since I have this stored in my email and have been procrastinating posting it, here it is now.

Title: You Could Warn a Dwarf!
Author: Laela
Fandom: Eragon, Eldest
Characters: Arya, Orik
Pairings: Eragon/Oromis
Warnings: Mentioned slash, implied sex.
Summary: Arya is looking for Eragon.
Author's Note: I hope you don't mind my portrayal of Arya- I don't want to turn her into a raging bitch like slash writers tend to with female characters. Also, there's no actual slashiness in this one, sorry! Just a conversation between Arya and Orik.

( In Which There is Much Discussing )

Title: Last Time
Words: 798
Fandom: Eragon/Eldest
Characters: Oromis, Glaedr, Brom.
Pairings: None today :)
Warnings: Nope.
Rating: G
Summary: Hasn't got any Eragon/Oromis, just the last time Oromis and Brom see each other. They aren't and never were together, just had a close teacher/pupil type relationship-thing.

( In Which There is Teasing and Cuteness )

Yes, I've finally written some more fic. It reminded me of how much I love doing this. Oromis is such a joy to try and keep in character- I do love me a challenge!

So, here it is:

Title: Connections
Author: Laela
Fandom: Eragon
Pairing: Eragon/Oromis
Rating: Pg-13 for implied sex.
Warnings: Slash. Nothing else, really.
Summary: A bit of plotless, nummy fluff.

( In Which There are Silly Waterfights )

*le sigh* I'm at school right now, and the stupid thing won't let me go to any communities. Stupid school. Stupid computer.

So I'm going to do my 'Japanese Elf' rant- never before written on the internet.

( Elves= Japanese. Oromis= Samurai. )

Anyways, I just finished reading Mercedes Lackey's 'The Magic Pawn'.

I really loved it. It was so amazingly good in a pulp-fictiony-romance-novel way. And there was gay. That always makes me happy.

A few things I noticed about Lackey's writing:

1) Someone really needed to proofread this. Oh, the spelling errors!
2) Nicknames should never be used as tags in actual, non-dialoge narrative. Especially when that nickname is 'Lendel. Yes, with the apostrophe. Yes, every time.
3) By the gods, I'll never use italics for emphasis again. As many as NINE times in a SINGLE PARAGRAPH. Made me want to scream. Also, amusingly enough, it makes you sound a bit like William Shatner if you read it out loud, because of this overuse of italics.
4) HOLY SEVEN HELLS WOMAN, STOP TORTURING POOR VANYEL!!!!!

Anyone who's read it will know what I'm talking about with that last one. She's worse than me for character-sadism... and that's impressive.

On an end note, I'm in love with Starwind and Moondance, and their gorgeous relationship. Despite their flower-child names, they are made of more love and win than I previously thought existed in the universe.

Growl. Writing fanfic for such a damn inconsistant series is hard.

Today, a rant on age in the Inheritance Trilogy.

When writing fanfic, especially an epic like I'm working on, it's good to have some basic things. Like a timeline. I have a timeline. It's very integral to my writing this fanfic. You know what is in turn integral to timelines?

THE AGES OF THE GODDAMN CHARACTERS BLARGH.

( Cut for being sort of longtastic )

Stupid elves.

I have to work on posting more often.

Today, I'm going on a rant. I was reading some ficbitches backposts, and someone made a comment on the topic of RPS. I knew instantly they were talking about (and utterly trashing) my favorite book, The Persian Boy by Mary Renault. I have to defend it, but since the comment's from 2003, I'll have to do it here.

They said the main character was a 'whimpy(1), weepy(2) uke(3)' and a 'Marty sue'(4). They also said he 'stole'(5) Alexander the Great from his general, Hephaistion, who was portrayed as the 'evil other man'(6)

WTF. I would almost think we weren't reading the same book.

( Point the first: Not whimpy, dammit! )
( Point the second: Weepy? HOW?! )
( Point the third: Uke- not in the traditional sense. )
( Point the forth: He existed, so STFU! )
( Point the fifth: He STOLE Alexander? Wtf? )
( Final point: Hephaistion villified? WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?! )

SO STFU AND GTFO. You know nothing.

... Basically, I wanted to prove to myself I could do this. I read a really, really awful Eragon mpreg, and I wanted to see if I could write a decent one. You'll have to tell me how I did, as I honestly have no idea. I hate the last part, there's too much exposition, but any other way would have made it boring and ridiculously long. Also, this will be the last thing, other than my epic, in which Oromis dies. At least I really, really hope so.

Also, this thing is AU. Quite throughly. This is not part of either of my 'verses, and does not effect any future stories. Unless I make a sequel, which I sort of doubt.

Title: Chetowä
Author: Laela
Fandom: Inheritance (Eragon, Eldest)
Pairing: Eragon/Oromis
Rating: PG? Maybe? Nothing bad really happens.
Wordcount: 2000 and change.
Themesong: If anyone cares or anything, the song I associate with this is 'Sleeping With Ghosts' by Placebo.
Warnings: Mpreg, character death, slash, original character.

( Part the First: The Father )

( Part the Second: The Mother )

( Part the Third: The Child )